


Walkin' In Time

by teddygirl105



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fireworks, Flashbacks, Gen, Memories, basically based off it, walkin' in time era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 08:18:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15636828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teddygirl105/pseuds/teddygirl105
Summary: They used to be best friends. Having fun, spending time together, sharing secrets. But they drifted. They didn't know why, but soon enough, it was like they were strangers. All of them yearn for the past once more, unable to let go of their memories.





	1. 82

**Author's Note:**

> This little fic will be primarily based on the MV for Walkin' In Time, mainly the concepts of drifting away and flashbacks of the happy times.
> 
> Some of the flashbacks will be based from the MV, some from the lyrics, and some just from either sounds or appearances. (e.g. the lyrics "i try putting on new clothes, but your scent still remains", or someone seeming rebellious in another [namely for hyunjoon and sunwoo respectively lol])
> 
> Each chapter will be short, at least 1k words each, but combined will be approximately 13k or more.

**_“to all my loved ones”_ **

~

With a shiver, he wrapped his arms around him, trying to keep warm from the bitter fall wind.

It was becoming dusk, and Sangyeon had stepped out for a bit of fresh air. A lot of his surrounding family had come to visit, aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins after years of not seeing them. He was happy to have them over, but the house now felt too cramped. Plus, it reminded him of his other family as well.

Though not related by blood, he and the others were as close as they could be, knowing so much and being told secrets that no one else knew. They were happy, the 12 of them, with a bond so strong nothing could break it.

And then suddenly, everything stopped.

They started talking less, responding to texts less frequently, and before they knew it, they didn’t interact anymore. It was like they were all strangers, the past they once shared now gone. There was no point in trying to rekindle the bond, as no one bothered to even try anymore. Though their group chat was still open, it was left empty, the final message only being one from Eric.

It hurt to see them move on, to disappear from his life, but Sangyeon figured that it was just life taking them on it’s path. But, if that really were the case, then why was he still hurting? Why did so many things remind him of them, from objects to a person’s presence? Surely if this were the intended way to go, then it wouldn’t hurt as much, would it?

It wasn’t just the suffocating feeling of having so many members in the household at once, it was the feeling of family. With all 12 of them together, it felt more of a family than ever. And he missed that feeling. Just being able to relax together, talk about their days, hear different stories. He was so protective of them, being the eldest out of them all, and he was constantly wondering if they were safe and sound.

Pulling up the hood of his red hoodie, Sangyeon was reminded of the day he and a few of the others had gone out on a fall night, ready to have a bit of fun despite the cold.

 

* * *

 

_It was fall, and with quiet steps, Sangyeon, Jacob, Younghoon, and Eric snuck out of their accommodation, packs of fireworks and sparklers in hand. Everyone else was tired from their party earlier, but the four of them wanted to end off their getaway with something big._

_It was a hassle to buy the fireworks, seeing how they insisted for a bunch of identification and what not, but Sangyeon had managed to snag some. With a bit of convincing to the cashier, plus Jacob probably winning her over, they had just enough to have some fun but not cause too much commotion. They were lucky that they were staying at a pretty rural area for the week, so any big commotion wouldn’t cause much panic or get them in much trouble either._

_“Come on, hyung, let’s get started!” Eric cheered, grabbing the fireworks from Sangyeon’s hands and beginning to open the box._

_“Whoa, calm down Eric. Read the instructions first.” Jacob warned, taking the now empty box from their youngest to read the piece of paper included. Jacob, being the most motherly in the group, was a good addition to have at the moment. If it were just Sangyeon, Younghoon, and Eric, something bad was bound to happen._

_It was just supposed to be the older trio, just with sparklers to enjoy the night. Then Eric caught wind of their plans and begged to join in, which resulted in getting fireworks as well._

_With a shiver, Younghoon pulled his scarf tighter, huddling closer to Sangyeon. The two of them had the lighters ready, and besides, Jacob didn’t trust them to setup the fireworks. In fact, he didn’t trust anyone but himself._

_“Done.” Jacob muttered, finishing up. In the end, he had shoved Eric away because the youngest kept on fooling around with the fireworks. Jacob was worried that he’d accidentally damage one of them and cause something bad to happen when lit up. “Go ahead.” he said, gesturing to Younghoon and Sangyeon as he pulled Eric back to a safe distance. “Even though they’ll be lit all together, they have different timings. Just light the two main fuses.” Jacob explained, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets._

_Approaching the fireworks, with a nod, Sangyeon and Younghoon took out their lighters and lit the fuses up at the same time, before jogging back to where Jacob and Eric were. It took a bit for them to get started, but soon enough they blasted into the sky, beginning the show._

_One by one, the fireworks lit up, exploding in the air and creating a spectacle of colours, looking like flowers. The four of them watched in awe, not wanting to miss a single thing._

_“It’s beautiful.” Younghoon breathed, not daring to blink. He was absolutely right, and they all nodded in agreement. It was a great way to end off their little getaway vacation, and was quite calming after all of the fun they had._

_“To give beauty into this world, only to diminish shortly after.” Jacob whispered in English, seeming to recite something he had read long ago. “Being born with the purpose of pleasing people, only to disappear right after the deed is done.” he explained to Younghoon and Sangyeon, who nodded. “Surely we won’t be like that, will we?” he questioned._

_“No. We won’t. We’ll stick together for as long as possible. “ Sangyeon answered. He was so sure of himself that day, not knowing what the future would be. “We’re strong, we can work together through our problems.” he muttered, looking over at the others. They smiled, nodding at him._

_“Yes. Together.”_

 

* * *

 

With a gasp, Sangyeon jolted, jumping in place. It wasn’t rare for him to suddenly get flashbacks of his memories, but they always surprised him on when they’d happen. They were always connected to what he was doing, whether it be his location or something he was looking at.

Shaking his head, Sangyeon turned back, beginning to head home. _‘There’s nothing you can do.’_ he told himself, the memory still vivid in his head. He had missed those smiles, the friendliness that was between them, just… everything. As much as he would try, he couldn’t escape them. Stuck in time, right in that small purgatory just after they had broken away.

_‘I need to distance myself.’_

With a bitter look on his face, Sangyeon turned away from the scene in front of him, not wanting to be reminded of the past any longer. It had gone too long like this. Almost a whole year, a year of him trying to forget and failing miserably. His senses dulled, he didn’t react to things as much as he should had, it was hard to listen to people ramble on, and it always felt empty in his chest. This was the consequence of such a outcome, but he didn’t know it would be this bad.

Just as he was about to leave for home, his back pocket buzzed, and he pulled his phone out. A notification from a chat he never knew would be alive once more.

 

**‘Jacob sent a message to The Boyz!’**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/tbz_sunlight)   
>  [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/tbz_sunlight)


	2. 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He was shaking, and he couldn’t even see well with the tears blurring his vision. All he knew was that he had to get to Sunwoo, and fast. ___

**_“my thoughts are running”_ **

~

Yawning, he laid back on the couch, his legs dangling off the arm rest.

Jacob was bored. He was always bored during this time of the day, especially so this year. There wasn’t really anything that he could do that could keep his mind off things, especially if everything reminded him of them.

God, he had missed the times when he could just text the chat and immediately, they’d go off and keep his mind off things. They were so lively, the 12 of them, and back then it seemed like nothing would change. They’d remain friends forever, hell, they almost got matching rings for them all.

Jacob couldn’t understand why they had all drifted away so suddenly. Why Juyeon just stopped answering any messages from anyone, and then one by one, the others followed. Eric was the last one who left, and he had so much hope that everyone would come back. Yet, they didn’t, and he was left with an abandoned group chat and so called “friends” who left him.

Jacob couldn’t blame the others for doing such a thing, but they could have at least talked it out beforehand. Maybe they were getting tired of their friendship, but it would have been better to leave on good terms rather than have this aching feeling whenever he was reminded of them.

Singing reminded him of their karaoke sessions. Trying to compose or play something on his guitar reminded him of the time they made a song for Younghoon’s birthday. They were so close, and had spent so much time together. Where did all of it go?

Jacob was reminded of the words he had spoken during that night with Sangyeon, Younghoon, and Eric. It was like he had practically predicted their demise all along, and despite Sangyeon telling him otherwise, it had happened in the end. A beautiful sight, only to die off. It made him feel bitter, and he had almost blamed himself for the entire mess.

His boredom still in check, he decided to scroll through his gallery, seeing if there were any pictures or videos that he didn’t need so he could clear up some memory. It was mainly of scenery, a few selcas that were pretty decent, and a lot of others from their group. He didn’t have the heart to delete them, they were just too precious now that they had split ways.

During the little search, he came across a few videos, all from the same day. They were long, ranging from ten minutes to thirty. Jacob knew where they had come from, and with a reluctant finger, he pressed play.

 

* * *

 

_Checking the battery, Jacob made sure that the camcorder was working before letting it do its thing, walking around the house and seeing what everyone was doing. Most were lounging in the living room, talking among each other, while the others were in the kitchen preparing snacks._

_“Recording?” Jaehyun mused, passing by and making a funny face, a bowl of chips in his hand. “You’ve been doing that a lot recently, Jacob-hyung.” he commented, heading towards the living room._

_“He’s right. Normally you just take pictures. Why the change?” Changmin asked, cutting up some fruit._

_“It would be nice to watch through this one day. See how we were back then.” Jacob explained, moving on to Kevin, who was trying to force Sunwoo into making parfaits with him. “Over here,” he started, as if he were a sports commentator, “is Kevin struggling to make Sunwoo help him. It isn’t going too well.”_

_“That’s because he says it takes too much work, you literally just shove ice cream, fruits, and cream! That’s it! What’s so hard about it!” Kevin complained, taking the fruits that Changmin was cutting to add into the glass._

_“The last time I helped you, I was kicked out because I put pepper before salt. If anything you’ll yell at me for putting peaches instead of strawberries.” Sunwoo grumbled, sticking to watching instead._

_“There aren’t even any peaches to begin with.”_

_“You’ll find a way.”_

_With a chuckle, Jacob moved on, going to the larger group at the living room. It seemed like they had set up the Wii U, playing rounds of Smash Bros. while yelling at each other. It was currently a match between Younghoon, Juyeon, Eric, and Haknyeon, all of them playing as Fox, on Final Destination, with presumably no items._

_“Hm, why no eight player?” Jacob asked, focusing the camera on Sangyeon, who was watching them all contently._

_“Don’t have enough controllers. My brother wouldn’t let me bring the Gamecube ones, so we had to stick with Pro-Controllers.” he explained, seeming a bit bummed that they couldn’t have more players._

_“Well then, make sure you take turns.” Jacob said, telling all the others. The ones that weren’t playing nodded, but the other four were too busy to even notice Jacob’s presence._

_With the resounding yell of the announcer ending the game, a cheer came from Eric, the others groaning. “That’s what I’m talking about!” he yelled, elated that he had won._

_“I was so close!” Younghoon whined, moving back so that someone else could take his spot and play._

_“I was thrown off. Thrown. At least you had some dignity in being countered.” Haknyeon complained, doing the same. The next players were Chanhee, Sangyeon, Hyunjoon, and Jaehyun. Kevin, Sunwoo, and Changmin had finished up in the kitchen, bringing a few more snacks before settling down with the others to watch what sort of intense Smash Bros. match would happen next._

_Sitting up from his spot, Jacob walked over to where his tripod was standing next to the wall and took it, setting it up to see everyone in the living room. The camcorder had enough battery for a bit, so he decided to just leave it running. There was bound to be a few good snippets he could edit later._

_The next match went well, with a fair fight from everyone, before it was the remaining members’ turns. Changmin went for Kirby, Sunwoo for Link, Kevin for classic Ness, and Jacob…_

_“Mr. Game and Watch? Dude, you’re so gonna get wrecked.” Sunwoo commented, seeing the character that Jacob had selected._

_“Don’t underestimate me. I’ll win for sure.” Jacob retorted, determination in his eyes. Sure, Mr. Game and Watch got a bad rep, but it didn’t mean that he wasn’t a bad character. Play your cards right, and he could be deadly._

_And boy, were they destroyed. Because the three of them (and the rest) had completely underestimated Jacob, he easily won the match with a few well timed combos and dodging most of their attacks. With a large smile on his face, he cheered as he won, the others groaning. Sunwoo demanded another rematch, changing his character to Robin. Kevin and Changmin did the same, to Shulk and Palutena respectively. Jacob kept the same._

_The match was much more intense now, Sunwoo, Kevin, and Changmin initially working together to defeat Jacob until Changmin turned his back and blasted both Sunwoo and Kevin off the stage with a smirk. Now becoming a free-for-all, Jacob took all of them by surprise once again, mainly by letting them do all the work before landing the final blows._

_“That’s cheating!” Sunwoo yelled, but Jacob just laughed._

_“Not cheating, but tactics.” he replied. A bunch of the others now wanted to take on Jacob as well, but after a good hour and a half, he reigned as king of the tournament. Occasionally, he’d switch over to Olimar, or some character that was underrated in order to catch them off guard. He had to admit, his brother forcing him to play back when they were little did pay off._

_“Is Mr. Game and Watch even your main?” Hyunjoon asked, curious. Jacob shook his head._

_“It’s Ness, actually.”_

_A cry of discontent rang throughout the living room. Ness was deadly when played right. A well timed bat swing or a PK Flash meant the end, and with how Jacob played with Mr. Game and Watch, he was sure to beat them all with Ness._

_They were just about to play a round of Fortune Street when the camcorder beeped, making Jacob look over at it. “Almost out of battery already?” he mumbled, and handing the controller to someone else, he rushed upstairs to grab another battery._

_Curious, a few of them walked over to the camera, starting to fool around in front of it. Piggybacking each other, making formations, weaving in and out to look cool, before just fooling around. The Wii U was ditched for music, where they did a relay dance-esque concept, taking turns to dance._

_By the time Jacob had finally come downstairs with the spare battery, he walked into them in the midst of dancing to Big Bang’s Sober, featuring lots of headbanging and yelling of the lyrics. Laughing at the scene, he quickly ended his current recording, switching out the battery to resume and capture this precious moment._

 

* * *

 

A sad smile formed on Jacob’s face as he continued to watch the mess that was their failed karaoke of Sober. It was during the week where they decided to get away from their families and the stress of everything, to just party and relax together. Those were memories that were simple, but held meaning and were precious. He didn’t touch video games for such a long time, and his fingers were itching to press some buttons yet again.

Just as he was about to play the next video, a phone call came, shocking him. It was from a number he had saved, but one he didn’t know he’d get. They had cut off all connection, so why call him now? It was also 9 pm, surely he had school the next day?

Shaking, Jacob answered the call.

“Hello? Sunwoo?” he asked, careful with his words.

“Oh, hello there sir. Is this boy’s mother here?” An unknown voice asked, much deeper than Sunwoo’s. He realized that Sunwoo must have kept his contact of him still saved as “Mom” rather than his name.

“No, she isn’t.” It was muffled, but Jacob could hear people yelling, and someone dialing another number. “Is there something wrong? What’s going on? I’m considered another one of his guardians.” Jacob lied, gritting his teeth.

The man spoke once more, and Jacob’s face fell, almost dropping his phone. “W-What did you say? …I see. I’ll be there right away. Thank you.”

Ending the call, Jacob quickly stood up, shoving his phone in his pocket before running over to the door. He slipped on some shoes, rushing to get out as fast as he could. He was shaking, and he couldn’t even see well with the tears blurring his vision. All he knew was that he had to get to Sunwoo, and fast.

So many thoughts were rushing through his head as Jacob ran, and he fumbled with his phone, texting a group he desperately hoped would answer. He had to have faith in them. As horrible as a reunion this would be, it was a dire situation.

_‘Just wait Sunwoo, we’ll be there.’_

 

**‘Your message(s) have been sent to The Boyz”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay but I love smash bros a lot and I just had to add it in here because they'd totally play it and yell at each other, and yes I think that jacob would be the unexpected pro who can play any character and beat the shit out of everyone
> 
> I wonder what happened to sunwoo *wink wink nudge nudge it's something bad for sure*
> 
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/tbz_sunlight)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/tbz_sunlight)


	3. 67

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It reminded him of someone, one that he knew so well before. He’d always get into fights, and they would always have to patch him up. ___

**_“but time seems to be walking”_ **

~

A shiver going down his spine, he continued on his path, hands shoved deep into his pockets.

Younghoon didn’t particularly like going out when it was cold, especially so in autumn and winter. No matter how many layers he put on, there was always one part of his body that would still be cold. Well, normally he’d say his face, but these days it was a bit different.

His heart.

A bit cheesy, but it was true. Ever since he had left his little group of friends, Younghoon wasn’t really the same. He had poured his trust and faith into them, all 11 of them, but afterwards… his heart had closed itself off. It was unintentional, almost. Younghoon hadn’t even realized it until his mother spoke to him one day, asking why he was so closed off recently.

Maybe it was because he was scared, thinking that all of his other relationships would break off just like that. It had been so sudden, one month they were talking, the next, gone.

He felt bad. Though he didn’t respond, Younghoon had set his KakaoTalk profile to be offline, and turned off his read receipts. Silently reading what was going on, watching everything crumble and doing nothing to prevent it. Maybe if he inquired a little bit, asked everyone separately what was going on, then maybe he could have mended things.

Today, he had a sudden urge to take a walk, just a short one, and of all things at night. It wasn’t too bad, but walking at night during fall wasn’t exactly the best if you weren’t dressed well. Luckily for him, he hadn’t prepared for bed just yet, so he was just in a sweater and some jeans.

 _‘God, some light would really be helpful at this moment.’_ he grumbled to himself, hating how he was currently in the darker parts of Han River. There were a few other people strolling along as well, and in the distance he could see the basketball court, people playing together. It reminded him of the others, mainly Juyeon, Jacob, and Sangyeon. They’d all ride down to Han River, all 12 of them, and split into groups, doing whatever.

Turning a corner, he cut through the area, going to a side road and into a more residential-ish area, near some apartments. It was giving him too many memories, ones that were all of them. Though those were good memories, they weren’t his favourite. There was a certain one that Younghoon enjoyed, back when they were at their strongest.

 

* * *

 

_“Like this?”_

_Younghoon, Sangyeon, Jacob, and Eric were currently in the living room of Sangyeon’s place, sitting on the ground with a bunch of sparklers and duct tape. It was Eric’s idea to tape a bunch of sparklers together in order to create a “mega sparkler.” It was quite ludicrous, but then again, he was the exact same one who suggested buying fireworks last time._

_“Yeah, I guess so.” Younghoon answered, inspecting Jacob’s little masterpiece of five sparklers together. “Just as long as you can light them all at the same time, then it should be good.” he explained._

_“What about this, hyung?” Eric asked, sticking out his creation. It was about ten sparklers taped together, and honestly looked like such a hazard._

_“I… think that’s too many, Eric.” Sangyeon commented, quite concerned and confused at the creation._

_“Yeah, but if I take a mega huge flame, then I can light them all! Surely that was the only rule we established, right?”_

_“And where are you gonna get such a huge flame, if all we have are these small lighters?” Jacob asked, and Eric thought for a bit. He realized that, yeah, his plan was probably not gonna work, and started taking off the duct tape._

_“To think, that these are already the biggest sparklers they had. We’re making it worse by taping them together.” Sangyeon mumbled. He was right, they were the largest ones, but only because they were long. In terms of width, they were quite thin and a bit flimsy._

_After letting Eric fix his sparklers, they were all done taping them up. Throwing away the packaging and out of sight, they gathered them all up and left the house, lighters in their pockets. And yes, they had to buy two more lighters so that everyone had one._

_Happily skipping, Eric led the way to the clearing they planned to go to, the others walking behind him. This little outing wasn’t supposed to be just the four of them again, just like last time, but it worked out. Eric made a whole new group chat called, “firework bros,” if that were an indication. The three eldest and the youngest, of all things._

_It was a cold fall night, right around midnight to ensure that they wouldn’t accidentally stumble upon some unwanted visitors during their fun. Soon arriving at the clearing, Eric ushered for them to hurry up, one of the sparklers and a lighter in his hand. Placing the others on the ground, they each took one and held it out in front of them, the lighter in their other hand._

_“Ready? Three, two, one, go!” Eric cheered, and they all lit their sparklers at the same time, their little light show starting. In the darkness of night, it was truly a beautiful thing. Younghoon could see all of their smiles so perfectly, the sparklers giving off a new sort of aura. It felt like time had stopped for them, giving them the present of this happiness._

_Just as he was reaching the end of his sparkler, Younghoon’s phone buzzed. Taking it out of his pocket, he saw that it was a text from Hyunjoon._

**_[hyunjoonie]  
_** _okay it’s midnight_  
_and i look outside my apartment window to see four people_  
_in the park_  
_with sparklers_  
_what the heck_

_With a laugh, Younghoon relayed the message to the group, who laughed as well. “Tell him to join. We’ve got plenty more.” Sangyeon said, and Younghoon nodded, quickly texting Hyunjoon back._

**_[bbanghoon]  
_** _oh that’s us_  
_aka me eric jacob and sangyeon_  
_we took those huge sparklers and taped them together_

 __ **[hyunjoonie]  
** dude  
_what the actual fuck though_  
_it’s like 12:37 am_  
_AM_  
_you guys are insane_

 **_[bbanghoon]  
_ ** _join us_

 ****__**[hyunjoonie]**  
_…  
_ _i’ll be down in 5_

_With a smile, Younghoon tossed his burnt out sparkler into the plastic bag they brought, opting to open his camera app instead of taking another one._

_“Guys, let’s see if we can get one of those cool pictures that are everywhere on Pinterest.” he suggested, and they all cheered, agreeing. “Let’s do ‘The Boyz’, we can have Hyunjoon help once he gets here.”_

_Lining up, Sangyeon, Jacob, and Eric assigned letters to each other, before preparing for the picture._

_“Ready… One, two, three!”_

 

* * *

 

Shivering, Younghoon shook his head in denial. Memories… weren’t something he enjoyed. It was especially so whenever they were of something that hurt, and this one was like a knife to his heart. They were so… happy. He didn’t remember the last time he was that happy.

Finally taking note of his surroundings, he noticed that his feet took him to the exact same park in his memories. If he looked up, he could see the apartment building Hyunjoon still lived in. He remembered which window was Hyunjoon’s, on the fifth floor, right at the very corner. The lights were turned off. He was probably asleep.

The atmosphere was very melancholy, and it was suffocating him. With a sigh, he walked back, going onto the main road. It was quite empty, which was understandable at this time, but surely there should have been more cars than this.

Looking down the road, he noticed that there was a lot of commotion at the intersection, and noticed a busted car on the side. Jogging over, he pushed his way through the crowd, confused on what was going on. When he made it to the front, there wasn’t much left, just police tape surrounding an area with a pool of blood. It made him sick.

“Excuse me,” he asked, tapping the shoulder of the man beside him, “what happened here?”

The man sighed. “A kid suddenly walked onto the street, got hit. He’s already on his way to the hospital, and his injuries seemed really bad. I think he also got into a fight beforehand.” the man explained, and Younghoon’s stomach churned.

“I-I see. Thank you.” he mumbled, before pushing his way back out of the crowd. It reminded him of someone, one that he knew so well before. He’d always get into fights, and they would always have to patch him up.

 _‘It can’t be.’_ he firmly told himself. Turning to go home, Younghoon’s phone buzzed, and he took it out of his pocket. He felt even more sick when he saw what the notification read, and it only made his suspicions even stronger.

 

**‘Jacob sent a message to The Boyz!’**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay but eric would actually tape like 10 sparklers together and light them all fight me on this
> 
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/tbz_sunlight)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/tbz_sunlight)


	4. 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“If that’s the case, then I’ll try to smile more and be happy. For you guys.” ___

**_“round and round, my mind spins,”_ **

~

“Jaehyun-ah, aren’t you going to eat?”

Jaehyun looked up at his mother, who was staring at him with worry. He was currently visiting, staying for the night during his work break. He hadn’t been able to for a long time, with how busy he was, so he figured that he might as well with the free time he had.

“Ah, I’m not that hungry. Sorry, mom. Work has been really busy and stressful, so I’m pretty tired.” he told her, setting down his chopsticks. It wasn’t a lie at all, in the span of just a few months he went from being the newbie to team leader, so a lot of responsibilities were piled onto him all at once.

“I see. You should rest up then, but make sure you eat a lot for breakfast tomorrow, okay?” she suggested and Jaehyun smiled, giving his thanks.

“I will. Good night, mom, dad.” he spoke, leaving the table and pushing his chair in. With a bitter smile, as soon as his back was turned, it diminished instantly, replaced with a stony face. As true as it was that he was tired, there were also some other factors into play at the moment.

Family. If you asked him who his family were, there would be two answers. The first was obvious, his mother, his father, his sister, and their pet. The second was less so. It was his friends, more specifically, 11 of them. They all met when they were young, each person slowly being added. At first, it was five of them, and in the span of two months, they more than doubled in size to 12.

They were so lively, and every moment Jaehyun spent with them was always enjoyable. They were the happiest moments of his life, and he wouldn’t be lying if he said that sometimes he preferred them over his actual blood related family. He missed the days where they would all go out for a meal, and then have the suspense of the credit card roulette, praying that the waitress wouldn’t pick theirs. Sometimes, they’d buy groceries, and have fun all preparing a meal, teaming up to see who made the best dish.

Having a meal with family just… sorta reminded him of them. He was away from his mom and dad for a long time, and the others naturally took their place as time went on. It didn’t really feel right without them.

Lying down on his bed, Jaehyun closed his eyes, too tired to think or do anything else anymore.

 

* * *

 

_With a sigh, Jaehyun rubbed his eyes, trying to ease the pain from how dry they were. Despite being forced to have a day off from work, he couldn’t help but still do a bit, mainly emailing and trying to fix a few small problems here and there. The problems got a lot worse than he had expected, so he quickly went to work on resolving them before they got way too out of hand._

_He hadn’t eaten much for breakfast, and the same went for lunch. He was so busy working that dinner was slowly passing as well, though it wasn’t like Jaehyun minded. He got many texts from Jacob and the others, asking if he had eaten yet, but he was too busy to reply._

_So of course, he was surprised when they suddenly barged into his apartment, all 11 of them, with bags of groceries in hand._

_“Jeez, I thought you guys were robbers! Why are you even here anyways?” he asked, finally taking his eyes off of his laptop screen for the first time in hours._

_“Well obviously, because you never answered any of my texts,” Jacob started, glaring at Jaehyun with a disappointed look, “I assumed that you didn’t eat yet. So we’re gonna make you eat Jaehyun, whether you like it or not.” he scolded._

_“Is it really necessary for all of you to be here?” he asked._

_“I mean if Jacob texted us all about this, then we’d have to come. I don’t think you’ll be able to stop him by yourself.” Juyeon answered, setting down some bags on the table._

_“And knowing you, you won’t eat by yourself, so we’ll eat with you.” Haknyeon cheered, already pulling out ingredients. Grumbling, Jaehyun quickly finished up his email before closing his laptop lid, setting it aside._

_“So, what am I assigned to?” he asked, rolling up his sleeves. They all stared at him ludicrously, as if he had grown two heads._

_“Obviously nothing, because you’re already working too hard.” Chanhee teased, but mean his words._

_“But I-”_

_“Just sit and watch, Jaehyun. You’re already working so hard at work, so just rest for a bit. Or else I’ll send Sunwoo over to keep you company.” Sangyeon threatened, making everyone laugh as Sunwoo whined._

_“Why are you making me sound bad?” he complained, a pout on his lips. Regardless, they all got to work, back to their teams as they usually did whenever they cooked together. Today’s menu was seafood and kimchi pancakes, budaejjigae, egg rolls, and bulgogi._

_Because he was seated at the table, Jaehyun could conveniently watch the pancake group struggle to make the batter. It was amusing, and for once he enjoyed having nothing to do._

_“Hyung, why is it so watery?” Changmin asked, dissolving the mix with a spoon. Kevin looked over, before picking up the package to look at the instructions._

_“Odd, I’m sure we put the right amount of water…” he mumbled, and Changmin took a peek at the packaging as well. Sangyeon was busy waiting, so he looked over to see what was going on._

_“I think you put too much water.” he commented, and Kevin and Changmin looked at him, confused and shocked._

_“What?” Grabbing the packaging from Kevin, Changmin read through the instructions carefully. “Hyung, it says we need 850 mL!” he yelled._

_“No, it says 500 mL, right here.” Kevin quickly pointed out, showing Changmin._

_“Then how much did you put?”_

_“...1000 mL.”_

_Jaehyun couldn’t help but laugh, hiding it behind his hand. It was funny and cute to see them fumble around so cluelessly. “Chanhee, help me out.” Kevin called, clearly panicking at his mistake._

_“Hm? What’s wrong?” Chanhee asked, walking over from the kitchen. Kevin quickly explained their problem, and all he needed to do was calculate how much of the mix they needed to add to make it the right consistency once more. Mumbling under his breath, he quickly calculated in just seconds._

_“You need 340 mL more of the mix.” he said, before leaving to do his job once more. Despite having seen this all the time, it still shocked them all at how fast he was. Taking the mix they still had, Hyunjoon quickly eyeballed the amount, and luckily, it was just right._

_They all worked for at least another 45 minutes. The bulgogi and egg rolls came out perfect, seeing how they were quite easy to do. Though the budaejjigae group had a little bit of trouble, Chanhee managed to salvage it._

_Finally all settling down to eat, they had lots of fun, just chatting among themselves and catching up a bit as the complimented each other’s cooking. Even when they were all done, just a few bits and pieces here and there, they all refused to let Jaehyun do the dishes. The remaining 11 duked it out in good old rock-paper-scissors style, with six of them being tasked to do the dishes._

_It was… noisy, to say the least. Lots of suspense and tension as they fought hard to not be subjected to such a fate. In the end, Kevin, Haknyeon, Hyunjoon, Sangyeon, Juyeon, and Eric were tasking with cleaning everything, while the others could lounge around._

_Unintentionally, their quest to make Jaehyun eat ended up being a huge dinner party of sorts. He didn’t mind though, it felt nice to have them over, even if he didn’t invite them. It reminded him of meals with his mom and dad, but a lot more livelier and fun._

_“Kevin!” Changmin called out from the living room, “We should show Jaehyun!” he said, making both of them look at him, confused._

_“Show him what?” Kevin asked, busy drying the dishes._

_“Y’know, that! The thing we practiced!” Jaehyun was still confused, but Kevin seemed to understand immediately, nodding his head. It seemed like the others didn’t know either, all curious to see what it could be._

_“Hurry up, hyung!” Sunwoo yelled. “We wanna see!”_

_“Then why don’t you come here and do the dishes for me?” Kevin retorted, making everyone laugh._

_“No thanks!”_

_Luckily for them, the team was just about finished with the dishes, so it didn’t take long for them to finish up. Kevin and Changmin then stood in front of the tv, with everyone piled on or in front of couch, wondering what they were going to do._

_“Ready? Five, six, seven, eight!”_

_Right on count, the two of them started to sing and dance, but not how Jaehyun or any of the others had expected. It was a commercial. The god damn Tropicana Sparkling CF._

_While the others were laughing their asses off, Jaehyun just sat there, blank faced. It was just so… odd but fitting, as well as surprising that they prepared such a thing. To make matters worse, they went from the apple version to the peach version, but at an even faster pace than the original. That made everyone break down in laughter, but Jaehyun was still the same._

_It was only at the ending, where the two of them finished in the same pose, out of breath but still with a smile. Changmin completely lost his balance and failed to regain it, falling and bringing Kevin down with him in the process. That made Jaehyun lose all of his shit, breaking down in laughter and unable to control himself._

_“Ah- holy shit I’m gonna die- I wasn’t gonna laugh but that just topped it off! Ah fuck my stomach hurts-”_

_Wheezing, Jaehyun took a few deep breaths, calming himself down to a more appropriate behaviour. “Hmm?” he hummed, looking around to see that everyone was silent, just staring at him. “What’s up?” he asked._

_“This is the first time I’ve seen you laugh that hard.” Eric breathed out in awe, and the others nodded in agreement._

_“What? Have I not laughed before?”_

_“No no! It’s just, well, we’ve never seen you so happy before. It’s enjoyable.” Younghoon quietly explained, perfectly saying the words that everyone else wanted to say._

_“Oh.” Jaehyun mumbled, a bit embarrassed but touched nonetheless. “If that’s the case, then I’ll try to smile more and be happy. For you guys.”_

 

* * *

 

Jaehyun woke up feeling sweaty, his body a bit too hot for his liking and the sheets slightly damp. It was the first time he had such a memory like that, and thought it was happy, it made him feel uncomfortable. He didn’t like at all, and if anything just made him have a bad feeling in his stomach.

Still a bit drowsy, Jaehyun turned his phone on, checking the time. It was only around 9 pm, meaning that he had just taken a small three hour nap. Knowing his parents though, they were probably already in bed by now, or at least heading off to bed.

Looking at the KakaoTalk notification he got, Jaehyun was about to swipe it away when he saw what it was from and who sent it. It was as if someone had dumped a bucket of ice water on him, and it made him bite his lip, nervous.

 

**‘Jacob sent a message to The Boyz!’**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finally watched the100 after forever so it just naturally made its way into the fic
> 
> also kevin referencing the "oh hellllll no" vine when he got snow shoved down his back was iconic
> 
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/tbz_sunlight)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/tbz_sunlight)


	5. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The sudden buzz from his phone almost made him drop it, but Juyeon looked at it to see a call from someone he didn’t think he’d ever hear from again. ___

**_“yearning to be with you again”_ **

~

Fiddling around with his guitar, Juyeon strummed a few chords, trying to find a good progression.

He usually wasn’t one for writing songs, but sometimes his mind would make up a certain melody that he just had to jot down. It was hard to make something to his liking, he didn’t want the song to seem boring, but at the same time not too eccentric. Lyrics were a whole other thing entirely. This stuff was usually Jacob and Kevin’s thing, but Juyeon liked a challenge.

He was a dancer, not a composer by a long shot, preferring to showcase his emotions through movement, from flowing to sharp. The adrenaline that he got whenever he performed was like no other, and it was addicting. A lot of the times, he’d push himself to his limits daily, trying to get steps right and perfect each move. Of course, that would end up in many ways, the most common being scolded or passing out and scaring everyone. Regardless, Jaehyun and Changmin would be there to yell at him, and force him to take a brea

Right now was one of those times, though it hadn’t been those two that had told him off. It was just another one of his fellow dancers in the studio, who expressed her concern when she saw Juyeon stumbling over to the wall after hours of practice. It was nice of her to do such a thing, but he missed how it was like with the others.

Juyeon felt so... guilty. He was the one that had started the entire mess, and it was all because of him that they crumbled away. He didn’t know why, but he just… naturally slipped away. All of them had been spending less time with each other, all being busy with their own thing, and soon enough, Juyeon had gotten way too used to being without them. He’d purposely slip out of plans, making up excuses and what not. Talking to them didn’t seem as fun as it used to be, and if anything started to become a bother. Slowly, he began cutting off contact with them, until they all gave up on trying to get him back. And thus started the cycle of events that ended up with their friendship dead.

He knew that once it started, he couldn’t go back. As much as he had wanted to, realizing his mistakes and actions, it was far too late to do so. Him suddenly coming back could result in fighting, which would only break them up even more. If anything, he hoped that at least some of them would still be in contact, even if it was just two of them.

With a frustrated sigh, Juyeon set his guitar down, despite having the urge to throw it across the room. He couldn’t compose like this, not when his emotions were going wild and his brain getting distracted. Instead, he grabbed his phone, immediately going to his gallery and scrolling up as far as he could, to the earliest photos.

Whenever he was out of inspiration, or just needed a pick me up, Juyeon would scroll through his gallery, finding photos and videos. They gave him good memories as well as sudden bursts of ideas for lyrics. Though more than half were just of the others, as bittersweet as they were, they gave him comfort.

He was way up in the early days, back when they were so close and spent so much time with each other. Many selcas, though mainly just of him, Hyunjoon, Jacob, and Chanhee. From cute filters, to absurd ones, and ones without. There was a beautiful picture of the sunset, having been taken just before golden hour had ended, and Juyeon remembered the time he took it.

 

* * *

 

_With a yawn, Juyeon sat on the floor in front of the couch, on top of a few blankets and pillows. Today was a bit of a free day for the 12 of them, splitting up into groups to do whatever they wanted. He personally didn’t want to do anything, and luckily, so did Chanhee, Hyunjoon, and Jacob. They all decided to just settle down in the living room, maybe talk and even have a nap._

_The others were out doing errands or fooling around, so the house was quiet, as if frozen in time. The sun was just about to set, so thus began golden hour, its orange hue flooding through the sliding doors and filling the room with colour. Juyeon could hear the faint sound of the laundry machine in the background, as well as the smell of laundry detergent._

_Chanhee soon joined, followed by Jacob and Hyunjoon. As soon as the Canadian sat down, opting to lie down on some pillows, Hyunjoon quickly claimed him, resting his head on Jacob’s back. Juyeon took the remaining space, also resting on Jacob, while Chanhee rested his head on Juyeon. With a hum, Jacob closed his eyes, deciding to rest, while the others scrolled around on their phones._

_It was pleasant just being in each other’s company, they didn’t have to talk in order to spend time or anything. It was like staying in bed for an extra few minutes. Pure, blissful silence, the only sounds being their breaths and the occasional chuckle._

_While Chanhee and Juyeon were busy giggling about something on the former’s phone, Hyunjoon was busy scrolling through Twitter, probably on his stan account. It seemed a bit obvious, seeing how whenever Juyeon glanced over, it was just tweets of BTS and other K-Pop groups over and over again._

_After a bit, Jacob shifted around, making the others quickly move their heads off of him. “I’m gonna quickly go to the bathroom, okay? I’ll be back soon.” he told them, and they all nodded, letting him leave and making themselves comfortable._

_“Oh Chanhee, I wanna show you something.” Juyeon started, quickly taking out his phone and hiding his screen, scrolling rapidly. “Just gimme a sec to find it.” Biting his lip, he managed to find what he wanted, already anticipating what the reaction would be. “Here.”_

_Showing the screen to Chanhee, it was of a cute raccoon holding what seemed to be cotton candy. “Aw, that’s cute.” he muttered, continuing to watch the video. Juyeon couldn’t keep in his laughter as he saw what had unfolded next._

_“nOOOOO!” Chanhee screeched, furiously grabbing Juyeon’s phone. While the latter was busy laughing his ass off, unable to control himself, Hyunjoon just looked at them, confused and surprised at the sudden noise._

_“Whoa whoa whoa! What’s going on? No one’s dying, are they?” Jacob rushed into the room, frantic and worried. But, one look at the three of them, and he immediately knew that it was nothing to be worried about. “You…” he growled at Juyeon, making him stop laughing. “You showed him the raccoon video, didn’t you?” he asked, and afraid for his life, Juyeon nodded. With a sigh, Jacob pried the phone from Chanhee’s hands, before-_

_“DON’T THROW MY PHONE OUT THE WINDOW!” Juyeon screamed, frantically grabbing at Jacob’s hand as the latter just casually sidestepped, making Juyeon fall flat on his face._

_“That, my boys, is punishment for your crimes.” Jacob spoke, his tone eerily cheery as he tossed the phone back to Juyeon. A bit scared, he, Chanhee, and Hyunjoon all had the same thought running through their minds. Never mess with Jacob. Ever. As sweet as he was, his other side was frightening._

_Sitting back down, they all piled on top of each other, settling down on each other’s stomachs. Juyeon took out his phone, opening Snow and selecting a filter to use. “Smile~” he cheered, pointing the camera at everyone’s faces. They all smiled, and Juyeon quickly took a picture, before continuing to find more filters._

_“Hey Hyunjoon, look over here.” Chanhee called out, pointing his camera at Hyunjoon. Unaware of what was going on, he just looked over, and Chanhee took the shot. Jacob peered over to see what the result was, and burst out laughing._

_“Hey, what did you do to me, hyung!” Hyunjoon yelled, reaching over to snatch Chanhee’s phone. His face wrinkled in disgust as he looked at the picture of himself, before throwing the phone back at Chanhee. “Using the old man filter on me, that’s just cruel.” he muttered, a pout on his lips._

_“Hyunjoon, over here~” Jacob cooed, and though still suspicious from last time, he posed for the camera anyways. “Aw, you look so cute.” Showing Hyunjoon the picture, the boy smiled, thoroughly liking this one unlike Chanhee’s._

_Juyeon got a notification that Jacob had sent something in their KakaoTalk group chat, and taking a look at it, it seemed to be the exact same picture that he took of Hyunjoon just now. It was a natural composition, one that didn’t use any filters. The light hit Hyunjoon’s face perfectly, and the tint of colour from the sunset added its own atmosphere to the piece._

_“Wow. It’s really good, hyung.” Juyeon commented, reading all the other messages from the other members. Jacob smiled, graciously accepting the compliment._

_“It’s nothing much, just stuff that my brother taught me a long time ago.” he explained, before going back to taking pictures. He took a few more of Hyunjoon, before making Juyeon and Chanhee pose for him as well. It ended up being a mini photoshoot, taking as many shots as he could before the sun went away._

_Juyeon enjoyed being a model, pretending to look chic, before bursting out in laughter with the others. In the end, Jacob was dragged into it as well, all three of them taking many pictures of him. They weren’t as good, but still looked stunning._

_The others had come back quickly, desperately wanting to be photographed as well so they could have something new to post or change up their profile picture. As each member posed, the others would try to yell out anything witty or jokingly criticize them in order to make then lose their composure. They had barely managed to finish just before golden hour had finally ended. Jacob was surprised at how long it lasted, as it normally didn’t last so long. Nonetheless, he got some amazing shots that he would touch up later before sending them out._

_As the others began to stray away from the living room, most of them going to the kitchen to prepare dinner, Juyeon took a quick step outside. Unlike the now busy nature of the house, outside on the balcony was quiet, with just the trees rustling and the background noise from inside. It was a bit chilly, but he wouldn’t stay out for too long._

_Taking out his phone, Juyeon snapped a picture of the sunset, not wanting to forget its beauty and the memories that came with it._

 

* * *

 

Juyeon bit his lip, reminiscing the memories that had suddenly flooded his head as he stared at the picture for a precariously long amount of time. Like a movie playing out in his head, he could remember every single little detail, from the brand of clothing they were wearing, to the type of laundry detergent that was being used. (It was Mejiwoo and lavender, by the way.)

It had been a long time since he was that happy and carefree, enjoying his life to the fullest. They were bittersweet memories, giving him the happiness that he once felt, before melting away into pain and regret. His heart hurt in a way that he couldn’t explain, and now he couldn’t get those memories out of his head.

Juyeon stood, walking over to his little balcony in his room and opening the door. A gust of cool air hit him, jolting his mind and shaking him out of his thoughts. It was a cool evening, the sun had just set, but the sky was still fairly bright. It was the perfect way to clear his mind, to reassure himself and continue on with his life.

The sudden buzz from his phone almost made him drop it, but Juyeon looked at it to see a call from someone he didn’t think he’d ever hear from again. His inner voice started to fight with him, begging him to answer despite willing himself not to.

In the end, he swiped to answer, placing it next to his ear.

“Hello?” he bitterly spat, not in the mood to talk.

 _“Juyeon… You…”_ the voice spoke, out of breath and seeming to be running somewhere. _“You need to get out of your house. Now.”_

“Why should I?” he asked. “There’s no reason for me to do so. We aren’t friends anymore, Chanhee. You can’t tell me what to do.”

 _“Listen, this is no time to be stubborn right now!”_ Chanhee yelled, his footsteps getting faster as he quickened his pace. _“There was…”_ He trailed off, explaining the situation.

Juyeon’s brain suddenly shut down, processing what Chanhee had just told him. “No… You have to be kidding.”

 _“I’m not!”_ he yelled. _“Just come, quick!”_ Chanhee ended the call there, seeming to have given up on talking to focus on running. Juyeon stood there, in another mental dilemma as he thought over on what to do. This was an urgent situation, but he hadn’t talked to them in forever. Would he willing to meet them now, as such a time?

 **“This isn’t the time to debate about such a thing, Juyeon. Go.”** His inner voice spoke to him, urging him to get into the action. With a shaky sigh, he bolted towards his door, slipping on some sneakers before heading to his destination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hgnn this one was horrible because I forced myself to finish it despite being completely out of ideas so sorry that it's so shit
> 
>  
> 
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/tbz_sunlight)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/tbz_sunlight)


	6. 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The kitchen now reminded him of the times back then, when he was happy. Able to smile freely without any worries. ___

**_“i want to run back”_ **

~

As a child, Kevin sometimes had this weird feeling in his chest, one that he was sure why he had whenever he was with his friends. It hid in the bottom of his heart, a nagging feeling that you could ignore, but would only get more and more annoying as time went on.

Now as a 20 year old, Kevin knew exactly what that feeling was.

The fear of loss.

He didn’t want his friends to leave him alone, to make him feel helpless. They were one of the few things keeping him sane and happy, and losing them would make his life go downhill fast.

Seeing how that had already happened, things weren’t going well for Kevin at the moment. His mind was always so awry, spacing out constantly or just unable to cooperate. His mental health seemed to deteriorate little by little, and he couldn’t get that horrible feeling out of his head. It just sorta sat there, not saying anything but making its presence known. It made Kevin so tired all the time, this fatigue that ran through his bones couldn’t be fixed just with sleep.

Needless to say, he was getting quite sick of his current state. All because they had split paths, because Juyeon was so selfish in his own mind and cause them to break. His friends were his main support, and with them gone, his bridge had collapsed. He didn’t want anyone to worry about him, so he kept it all to himself, just keeping on a smile the entire time.

Sometimes he’d go over to their old group chat, and just sit there, hoping that a message popped up out of the blue. He’d sometimes leave his phone on for hours, doing other things while leaving it on the side so that he wouldn’t miss a thing, before giving up and turning it off.

He was just so… desperate for any sort of interaction with them. No one else gave him the same feeling that they had done, no one could comfort him like they could. Kevin just wanted them back. At this point, his imagination kept on wandering all the time, to the times when they were all so happy and cheerful. He just wanted anything, a text, a call, something that signaled that they were alive and well.

Kevin had been brooding over the situation for almost an entire year before finally realizing and slowly coming to his senses. He couldn’t call it realization though, more so acceptance that they weren’t going to come back. Any attempts at contact had been fruitless, or ended up with more arguing. It was frustrating to think of such a thing, but there was no point in dwelling over this any longer. He had to move on. Now.

His mind wasn’t cooperating with him at the moment, blurring constantly so that he couldn’t focus on his work at the moment. The music that he was currently playing as background music was starting to just seem like annoying white noise, and the screen of his laptop was hurting his eyes. With a groan, he closed it, trudging over to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

Tired. Sleepy. Hungry. He hadn’t even noticed that he had skipped dinner until his stomach grumbled loudly at him, yelling for food. Searching around, he spotted the pizza box that was on the kitchen counter, something that his roommates probably bought.

A bright pink sticky note on top, it held his roommate’s messy writing. _‘left some pieces for you Kev, you’d better eat them!’_ With a smile, he opened it up, grabbing one of the cold slices and shoving it into his mouth. He was glad that his roommates were nice people and cared about him. He hadn’t felt this loved since, well, since them.

His mood instantly diminished, and suddenly Kevin wasn’t feeling as hungry as he was before. Despite that, he forced himself to finish his slice, getting some food into his stomach.

The kitchen now reminded him of the times back then, when he was happy. Able to smile freely without any worries. Kevin remembered the time when they had went to this pension to relieve stress, and him, Changmin, Haknyeon, and Sunwoo were fooling around in the kitchen.

 

* * *

_“Agh, don’t touch me!” Kevin screeched, struggling to avoid Changmin’s dirty hands. They decided to do some bonding by making some food, and it was already turning out to be a bad choice. Half the time, they were fooling around, and only Haknyeon was really taking it seriously. Of course._

_Changmin had turned around just in time to see Sunwoo scoop a handful of water from the faucet, before gloriously splashing it onto Haknyeon with a mischievous smile. “Yah!” he yelled, a bit frustrated. He seemed used to it though, not bothering to do anything. Haknyeon just swatted the air, before going back to chopping._

_Kevin grabbed a cloth from the counter, beginning to counterattack Sunwoo by chasing him around the island to hit him. They had almost knocked over many things, and were a bit too close to the stove for comfort._

_“If you guys don’t help out, then you won’t get any food.” Haknyeon called out, and the two of them quickly stopped, not wanting to risk their lunch being taken away. Swarming over to Haknyeon, he told them what to do, and they finally got some work done._

_Honestly, they had no idea what they were currently making at the moment. With a few ingredients leftover from the fridge, and hungry stomachs to feed, they just decided to wing it and see what could possibly go wrong._

_“Changmin, can you check the soup?” Kevin called out, finishing with his task. With a nod, the dancer went to go check, carefully opening the lid._

_“It’s still a bit thin, we need to boil it down a bit more.” he spoke, checking the consistency with a spoon. “What do you think, Haknyeon?” he asked, and said man came over._

_“Yeah, you’re right. Just a few more minutes should do it.” Putting the lid back on, it was now the waiting game. At first, they just stood around in silence, but soon enough the fun started once more. There was a leftover clove of garlic that was sitting on the cutting board, and a dare went around to eat it._

_In the end, they all just played rock-paper-scissors to see who would be the unlucky loser. By some chance, Kevin, Changmin, and Sunwoo had all played paper, while Haknyeon played rock. Yells of excitement filled the air, while Haknyeon just had a defeated smile on his face._

_“Woo! Nice going!” Kevin exclaimed, clapping wildly. Changmin grabbed the clove, a devilish look on his face while Haknyeon resigned to his fate. “Just throw it in his mouth, he’ll be fine.” he spoke, showing how to aim it properly._

_“Open wide~” Sunwoo cooed, and before he knew it, Haknyeon was chewing on a whole clove of raw garlic. You could see the regret and pain on his face, the smile obviously faked and beginning to warp._

_Normally, garlic with food? Amazing. Made everything taste better. On its own, and raw? Not the best, that’s for sure._

_“Save me…” Haknyeon whined, trying to get to the sink to spit it out, but the others held him back._

_“Nuh uh, no spitting it out!” Changmin scolded. “Once you swallow it, then we’ll give you some water. You lost, so you pay the consequences!” Glaring at them, he eventually mustered up the strength to give up on chewing and just swallow the clove whole. It wasn’t a smart idea, but at least he didn’t have to suffer anymore._

_Frantically rinsing his mouth with water, Haknyeon even went as far as grabbing the bag of sugar on the counter and sprinkling some into his mouth. The sweetness gave him temporary relief, but it was quickly overpowered once it dissolved._

_“My breath’s gonna smell like garlic for the rest of the day…” he complained, still eating sugar. Looking over at the cutting board, his eyes lit up devilishly. “Hey, there’s some hot pepper left. Y’all should play again.” he suggested._

_“Nah, I already put my life on the line, I’m not doing it again.” Kevin spoke, shaking his head. Changmin agreed with him. Sunwoo thought otherwise._

_“Oh come on, one more game wouldn’t hurt, would it?” he teased. “Unless you guys are too scared to?”_

_“If you put it that way, then I’m not backing out.” Changmin spoke, his eyes now filled with fire and determination. The two of them glanced at Kevin, who just sighed before joining in._

_“Just you wait, Sunwoo, you’re going to regret this.” the Canadian grumbled, joining in on the new game with reluctance. Haknyeon opted out, seeing how he had lost already and didn’t want to lose again._

_“You lose if you don’t play, rock-paper-scissors!” they yelled, the air tense as they all threw out their chosen hand sign. Kevin chose scissors, Sunwoo rock, and Changmin paper. No one had won that round._

_“Rock-paper-scissors!”_

_A high pitched, dolphin-like scream emitted from Changmin as he exclaimed in joy. He had chosen rock, while the other two chose scissors. Now it was Kevin against Sunwoo in a battle to keep their dignity._

_“Rock-paper-scissors!”_

_Two more screams came from the kitchen, one in joy and the other in despair. Kevin held his hand in the air, in the sign of paper, while Sunwoo angrily yelled at his fist, clearly having chosen rock._

_“Well, would you look at that. The one who suggested the game lost. Time for punishment~” Haknyeon sang, enjoying the scene played out in front of him._

_“Noooo! Please, I take it back! Kevin-hyung, I’ll give you 20,000 won if you eat it instead!” Sunwoo pleaded, going as far as begging on his knees._

_“Hmm, tempting offer, but no thanks.” Kevin answered, smugly looking down at the youngest. “Open wide~” he teased, and with a grumble, Sunwoo pushed himself off the floor, hastily grabbing the pepper and shoving it into his mouth._

_At first, he had no reaction, just crunching through it as fast as he could. It wasn’t long until his face began to distort, cheeks and ears turning red as Sunwoo tried to hide the pain and the spice. Then the coughing started, and Sunwoo ran to the fridge, rummaging around for anything to sooth the pain._

_“Why the hell do we not have any milk!” he yelled, groaning in pain. The other’s just laughed at him, and Haknyeon offered the bag of sugar. He took it gratefully, pouring it into his mouth._

_“How does it feel, Sunwoo?” Kevin asked, leaning on the counter to watch him._

_“Like regret.”_

 

* * *

 

A bitter laugh escaped Kevin’s lips as he remembered about those happy times. He oh so desperately wished that he could go back to those days and relive them over and over. Instead, all he got were broken relationships and painful memories.

Maybe a walk would do him some good.

Hopping off the kitchen counter, he made his way back to his room, where he grabbed the varsity jacket off the back of his chair and pulled it on. Grabbing his phone, he almost dropped it when he saw what was on screen.

He had left it on their old group chat, a habit he never got rid of, but instead of Eric’s message, there was a new one. As he read through it, the dread at the bottom of his gut began to grow, and panic started to settle in.

 

 **[kevin]  
** _i’m on my way._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good to know it takes me like 3 months just to post the next chapter
> 
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/tbz_sunlight)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/tbz_sunlight)


	7. 98

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Welcome to JuJaeChan’s hair salon! You’ve been chosen as our lucky winner to receive a free makeover!” Jaehyun cheered, putting on his best shopping host voice._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter took a long damn time to finally be here but it's out now!! also if you check kevin's chapter posted in december it says something like "good to know it takes me three months for the next chapter" and bam it's been ANOTHER three months
> 
> 100% not proofread as it's currently 2 am and my tired ass is giving up but I'll proofread this soon

**_“to the time when we were together”_ **

~

The dripping noise of the leaky faucet filled Chanhee’s ears, a steady and repetitive noise. It was cold in the empty tub, but he didn’t care. He never did.

Whenever he was overwhelmed or feeling like he couldn’t do anything without feeling tired, Chanhee would just sit in his bathroom in silence. He didn’t know why, but it always managed to calm him down. Whether it was because of that leaky faucet, or the bleakness of the walls and the floor, he didn’t know. It just worked.

Sometimes, though, it wasn’t always the best option.

On days that he would be feeling especially bad, his mind would begin to wander, venturing back into past memories that he had blocked out but never forgot.

Today was one of those days.

He had forgotten how familiar the touch of friendship and love had felt, the brotherly relationship that he had with the others. He craved it. Chanhee wanted to run into their arms and hold them tight so badly, never letting go like he had already did.

He was stupid. Himself from a year ago was an absolute idiot. Juyeon was an idiot. They were all idiots. They were all idiots for letting each other go so easily without any second words.

He’d curse at himself even after almost a full year later. He thought that he would forget about them, just like how they had broken away so easily, yet they were still in his thoughts. He figured as much. With all the memories they had made with each other, such a thing wouldn’t leave so easily.

If Chanhee closed his eyes, he could imagine Haknyeon laughing at him, wondering why he was sitting inside a bathtub for no reason. Yeah, it was pretty stupid, but he was an idiot anyways.

He had made many interesting decisions in his little apartment bathroom. One of them was to bleach his hair until it was light blonde. Another was to then dye it light pink. Surprisingly, both of these turned out well despite how impulsive they were, the only drawback being sad, dead hair. He liked it, and even to this date, he touched his roots up whenever they started to grow back.

Chanhee remembered another weirdly impulsive decision that had happened. He, Jaehyun, and Juyeon were bored, so they decided to drag Hyunjoon into the bathroom, sit him down, and pretend to play hairdresser.

 

* * *

 

_ “Hey- what the hell?!” Hyunjoon yelled, being dragged by the arms by Jaehyun and Juyeon and into Chanhee’s bathroom. The door shut and locked, they sat him down on a chair, throwing some sort of plastic cloth around his shoulders. The bathroom was small, barely fitting all four of them without a bit of a squish, but they managed. _

_ “Welcome to JuJaeChan’s hair salon! You’ve been chosen as our lucky winner to receive a free makeover!” Jaehyun cheered, putting on his best shopping host voice. _

_ “Please, sit still, or else we will have to resort to other measures.” Chanhee added, sounding a bit eerie. _

_ “...I don’t have any choice, do I?” Hyunjoon asked, and the three of them shook their heads. _

_ “Nope.” they cheerily spoke in unison. _

_ With a sigh, the youngest submitted to his fate, puffing out his cheeks as he pouted. “As long as you don’t mess up my hair too badly, go wild. And please, don’t cut it. I have a competition soon.” _

_ “No promises!” _

_ “Hey!-” _

_ Hyunjoon was quickly shut up with the feeling of something cold against his scalp, running down his face and neck. Turns out, Jaehyun had dumped some water on his head just to shut him up. _

_ “...Bitch.” he muttered, ignoring the light punch on his shoulder from Juyeon reprimanding him. The eldest grabbed a towel, drying him off before truly beginning their fun. _

_ While Jaehyun played around, adding rollers to Hyunjoon’s hair, Juyeon and Chanhee practically manhandled him. The former squished his cheeks, effectively keeping his head still while the latter took up a pair of scissors, carefully trimming his bangs. Luckily for him, Chanhee was smart and was cautious not to cut too much off, barely any so that it wasn’t noticeable. _

_ “Hyung, clip off this side of his hair, will you?” Juyeon asked Jaehyun, and he nodded. While he did that, Chanhee continued with the scissors, quite focused with his work. After a little bit, he pulled away, gently blowing on Hyunjoon’s fringe to get rid of any stray hairs. _

_ “Mm, not too bad if I do say so myself.” Chanhee muttered, pretending to be serious. The others pretended to be proud of him, even though they all knew that literally nothing changed. _

_ “Great! Then let’s do a quick wash before we finish.” Jaehyun exclaimed, confusing everyone else. _

_ “Wait, what?-” _

_ Just like earlier, he had dumped water onto Hyunjoon’s head once more, but this time it was a whole bucketful. Silence enveloped the room as water dripped down his chin, soaking his clothes. _

_ “...Lee Jaehyun. Do you want to die?” Hyunjoon growled out, glaring at said man, who simply avoided his eyes with an innocent look on his face. _

_ “You said you needed to wash your hair anyways. Be thankful, Hyunjoon-ah.” he cooed, getting hit in the shoulder in retaliation. With a sigh, Juyeon took the empty bucket, filling it up again with warm water. _

_ “Hyunjoon, we can either dump this on your head again or force you to lean over the bathtub to wash your hair. Pick your poison.” he spoke, his voice monotone. _

_ “Just yeet it on me. What’s the point of trying to keep my clothes dry when they’re already wet?” he muttered. Without hesitation, Juyeon poured the water onto Hyunjoon’s head, splashing water everywhere. _

_ “You could have done that a lot softer, Juyeon-hyung. Now my entire bathroom is wet.” Chanhee grumbled, but grabbed the shampoo bottle on the floor anyways. Squeezing out a quarter sized dollop, he began to lather it into Hyunjoon’s hair. _

_ The other two joined in, though this time beginning to style his hair into odd shapes. Jaehyun had spiked up a part of his hair, while Juyeon tried to make cat ears. _

_ “You look like a- you know what, I’m not gonna finish that sentence.” Jaehyun started, stopping himself. _

_ “Oh, now that’s just disgusting.” Hyunjoon cringed. “Please, fix my hair before Jaehyun-hyung makes any other horrible comments.” _

_ “Got it.” Chanhee took matters into his own hands (literally) by smoothing Hyunjoon’s hair back down, slicking it back and leaving a few strands in the front. _

_ “Oh look, you’re a greaser now.” Juyeon commented. The youngest took a look at the mirror, wrinkling his nose. _

_ “Nah, I’d say little prep school boy.” he muttered, making the others laugh. _

_ “God, just imagine that! Little Hyunjoon in his school uniform and his hair slicked back with way too much gel, now that’s a sight I wanna see.” Jaehyun crowed, unable to control himself. _

_ “In your dreams, hyung!” _

 

* * *

 

With a dry laugh, the smile on Chanhee’s face faded, going back to his usual stoic expression. That was a memory he hadn’t visited in a long time. If he focused hard, he could imagine them standing in front of him, playing with Hyunjoon’s hair. He could hear them too.

Blinking, the image disappeared, leaving him with the stark white bathroom walls yet again. It felt so… empty without them. Like a void was left in his heart.

Just as he was about to get out of the tub and get back to work, his phone buzzed from its perch on the corner of his sink. Reaching over to grab it, Chanhee checked what it was.

As soon as he had read those words, his heart stopped. He had never thought there would be a day when the chat would come alive once more.

 

**‘Jacob sent a message to The Boyz!’**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a shitty ending but I just really wanted to get this done
> 
>  
> 
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/tbz_sunlight)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/tbz_sunlight)


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